what i’ve lost can’t be regained.
words spilled out of their pages
erased, never to be found again.
the day grows longer, but your shadows dim
“what if they ask me for proof of you?” i ask
as they said they might.
you have gone, and perhaps returned
but as a spirit, a past i dreamt
i look for you in my linear time
but the jagged line i erased, and
in the sandy residue is only fragments
of my shattered heart.

i cannot find the glue.
another mirror shattered,
but this one held my visage
between your tender hands.
i heard shrieks from the past, feared
they were your call,
and let drop the crystal of our love.
you lived, but i did not
broken in pieces, i am
apart, unheeded, unwashed,
but still yours.

my love, i fear i have lost
the glue, the will, the hope,
and live only in your faith.
ghosts of christmas pasts still shiver
mouths wide in full yaw
but i heard myself in their voice
thinking it them. you, my
dearest, have paid the price,
and again i found a rock
hurled at the mirror, but
this time, i am the rock
i hurled at myself.