In honor of the Holiday Season, I am presenting my annual tribute to the real meaning of the holidays – the post-Christmas sales.

Twas the Day After Christmas
an’ all through the sto’
everybody was fighting
for a whole lotta mo’
The stockings were tossed
with the socks over there
by the previously-opened,
unworn underwear.
I was with my girl Trixie
(insatiable beast)
if you’re buying, she’s shopping
and your credit’s the feast

I asked her for Gators
she gave me a clap
and a worrisome itching
too close to my lap
So we came back the next day
with her bad kids in tow
‘cause I don’t got my Gators,
but there’s still a lot mo’

And my Trixie found jewelry
that was coated with gold
and the bling wasn’t blinging
but that jewelry got sold
when Grandma just snatched it,
knocked Trixie down to the flo’
‘cause you…